Game of Politics

This post will offend probably most everyone. I don't care; it needs to be said.

Today you will hear politicians of all stripes thanking our troops for their service. Yet, who sent those troops to die in some foreign country? The politicians did. Did the politicians have any skin in the game? No, the sacrifice is entirely on the troops. Were we, the American people personally or existentially threatened by these foreigners who supposedly are our enemy? No, yet we say that somehow our troops died for our freedom. Yes, there are many people in the world who hate America and Americans, but the real cause of most wars is to keep the rich and powerful rich and powerful, not to protect the citizenry from a foreign enemy, not to die for our freedom.

So before you repeat the blather of troops' sacrifice and dying for our freedom, please consider the above. If you truly want to support the troops and memorialize the fallen, tell the politicians to stop their game of thrones politics with other people's lives. Support peace and love instead of war and hate. It's a very tall order, I know, but we must always strive for that goal, and it has been expressed by great thinkers throughout history. It is the compassionate thing to do.

So this memorial day, thank our troops and those fallen by setting the intention to be against the system that got them killed in the first place.

Becoming Better Than Better: Procrastination Battle Report

Procrastination is a tricky demon. He's an ugly man, but he's oh-so-seductive. "Listen," he whispers in my ear, "you don't want to be productive. Browse the internet. Watch Jon Stewart. I know how much you love Jon Stewart." "Well, okay..." Then I come back to reality and get stuff done. Or try to.

Yes, I'm personifying Procrastination. No, I'm not crazy. If I'm going to gamify my life with Superbetter, I might-as-well have fun with it. Procrastination often does feel like a force outside my will. So does my Muse. I've heard that's one hypothesis for where religion comes from: the mistaken notion that our thoughts are somehow outside ourselves. Any thought about any god (or any thought, period) is contained solely within our heads. To say otherwise is a ridiculous idea. But Procrastination, or the Muse, or God, can be useful symbols, as long as you realize they are just symbols. So let me just walk through about one week with my symbol, Procrastination.

Let me start with Friday. Friday was almost a good day, except I'd gotten only 5 hours of sleep. "I can't meditate like that," I told myself, so I didn't. An otherwise perfect day, yet Procrastination won. However, I did do a lot on Friday, aside from not meditating, so what happens when Saturday rolls around? Free day! Didn't do a damn productive thing. It felt soooooo good; the weight of the cosmos delayed till the next day. I could see Procrastination's mouth full of rotten teeth smiling, plaque so thick his teeth are black, camouflaging the cockroaches scampering about. I smiled and nodded at him that day, as if he were my best friend. So Sunday rolls around. Productive day? Hell no, because I was out of practice. Procrastination continued smiling, maybe chuckling a little maniacally. Monday, I won, but barely. I got done all I wanted to do, but got them done at 4 AM. If you can't wait tomorrow, why not wait for a couple hours? Procrastination gave me that idea, so that on Tuesday, what'd I do? Procrastinate most the day. I procrastinated fine and good, and by the time I felt like working, I was too tired to compete. This time he won. I could see him gloating. That night I enlisted the help of a power-up; Vive Hora I call her. It means "live the hour" in Latin (because a day is just too long). She's attractive, fun, and sexy. And she wants me to succeed. Today/tonight's the first day I've got to use her, and while it's late, I'm not bone-crushing tired. She's helped. Eventually, I hope she'll allow me to keep "normal hours."

So there it is: my Procrastination battle report. I don't intend to do this every week. Again, I don't want this blog to be an online diary. So, till next week... (Maybe I'll be able to post at a decent hour on Wednesday.)

The Impostor Syndrome

Lately I've been in a bit of an odd slump. It's odd, because, though I've been productive on a lot of things, I'm not sure if any of them are meaningful. It's odd because I'm more observant of the feeling tones of the slump than I've ever been. I know the productivity has a lot to do with Superbetter, and observing my mental states has a lot to do with Buddhist meditation (which I'm doing more often because of Superbetter). Still, I feel the slump.

One of the things that's causing this slump is my writing and how I feel about it. At times, I feel elated, the thought that I really can do it, and be a writer. But at other times, I look at what I wrote and think it's absolute crap. If I like the story I wrote, and I get a bad review, it especially hurts. But, like everything else in the universe, this slump is impermanent, and I'm sure it'll pass.

There is a "syndrome" for this feeling of being an unworthy writer (or any other occupation): the impostor syndrome. Even well published writers get it. I've seen it on their Facebook status. Even as I write these words I wonder: "Is this blog good enough?" "Is it coherent?" "Or is it nothing more than a bunch of random thoughts strung together?" "Is too long?" "Too short?" "And who the hell reads blogs anyway?" It's not like blogging is a form of high literature.

Sometimes I feel like an impostor not just in writing, but in life. Odd, but true. I see people my age or younger married and with kids, with a house, and a well-paying career, and I wonder why I don't have those things. Not that I necessarily want those things--at least not all of them--but often I unconsciously buy into the notion that that's what "I'm supposed to have." I sometimes feel like I'm moving and thinking at a slower speed as everyone else, with them all passing me by. It's a common trope within science fiction: that an alien species moves and thinks at a different rate as humans, causing communication problems between the two species. Maybe someday I'll wake with an odd itch. I'll go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, feel around under my skin, and tug on a zipper. My human skin will fall away and my true form will be exposed. I will truly realize that I am indeed an impostor, an alien impostor. In that case, I'll be glad. Otherwise, I guess I'll get over this slump.

The Evil Black Muslim President

Let me tell you a story: Once upon a time there was a nation ruled by an autocratic black Muslim President. Being a socio-fascist, he took away all his citizens' freedoms and liberties. He raised their taxes. And took away their guns, so their couldn't even defend themselves. He forced them to pay for things they didn't want to pay. He was an open racist, looking down upon any not of his kind. He allowed and even supported the immoral and debauched to live freely in public. He compromised the military and openly conspired with dictators. Because his Muslim faith was frowned upon and even demonized in the nation he infiltrated, he took on a public religion much more amiable to the citizenry. In fact, he shouldn't even be President because he wasn't born in the nation he now rules. He hates women...

I could go on-and-on ad infinitum. But you get the idea. And I won't go on-and-on refuting the above things in which I think are bogus. Just to backtrack a little, in case you're very slow, or reading this fifty years in the future, when this man belongs in a history book (whatever a book will look like then) instead of the nightly news, the "evil black Muslim President" I'm referring to is Barack Obama. For this blog entry, I'm interested how someone can believe the above so readily when I can not. We have access to the same sources, the same world. True, the above hypothetical person would probably watch Fox News while I would watch MSNBC. And don't misunderstand me: I am NOT lumping all people who'd like a different president into believers of the above story. I'm sure a lot of people will think the above as comic hyperbole. But I am also confident that a non-zero percentage of people believe the above; that percentage might be larger than I'd like to guess. So what causes one person to believe one way, and another to believe another?

I think the root cause is bias. We all have it. My bias is not better than yours, nor is there a such thing as "unbiased" because we come to any situation preloaded with ideas and conceptions on how the world operates. We can mitigate bias by doing blind studies or dealing with "just the facts." But even dealing with "just the facts," there's interpretation bias. But I think one powerful tool to mitigating bias is to acknowledge we have it in the first place. The next time we react or jump to a conclusion, we can ask ourselves: "Did I do that because I already have a biased opinion?" Then we can step back and look at "just the facts," and come to a different conclusion.

Using the above first paragraph as an example, let's say our hypothetical person believes much, if not all about what kind of person Barack Obama is like. He looks at his biases and realizes he doesn't like people with big ears, as he had a few big-eared bullies when he was a child. He then realizes it's stupid to hate someone for having big ears, so he changes his opinion about Barack Obama. I personally think most of those who subscribe to the above narrative about the President aren't big-ear haters. I think many have some other bias against the President. Then again, that just might be my bias.

Becoming Better Than Better: Part Deux

So it appears that Wednesday night/Thursday morning is looking like my Superbetter update. If you don't know what Superbetter is, go here. Also check out the website, Superbetter.com. I'm still going strong, adding more things to do, making my "quests" against Procrastination just a little more challenging each day, but still being compassionate with myself when I fall short. One of the things I'd like to do is write more than once a week on this blog. I'm sure Superbetter can help.

OK, enough of the diary entry stuff. My intention with this blog is to provide thoughts which cause one to think, not "how's my day going" content. To that end, I've had a realization since "playing" Superbetter: I'm a gamer. To me, a "gamer" has connoted a video game player, or a role playing gamer, or maybe even a board game player, none of which I play on a regular basis. But I do and have played games. I've played Tetris to the point it gets boring, even with the pieces speedily dropping. I play Solitaire to pass the time. I've gotten into SecondLife a few times. One summer I wasted playing EverQuest. That summer, I felt horrible and very unproductive. An entire summer gone, as I killed rats and orcs. I even had the thought: "What if life were more like a game?" But I had the thought in the context of writing fiction, not in the context of providing an internet platform. Occasionally, I've thought about getting a video game console or joining a role playing group, but I knew those are temptations I shouldn't follow. The whole point of telling this is to show that I am, indeed, a gamer. What Superbetter is doing, I think, is providing a useful outlet to a potentially harmful habit. Instead of wandering around and killing orcs all day in a virtual environment, I'm using that time to achieve my life's goals.

It's curious, really, how much we do play games. As children, we play often and heartily. Biologists tell us games are useful in preparing the young skills needed as adults, regardless of species. But even as adults, games matter and can help us. Life itself is the biggest game of them all. Superbetter is helping me see that.

Becoming Better Than Better

So...it's been awhile since I graced the presence of this blog. At one point I'd decided to be more productive, instead of less, with regard to this blog. Obviously that didn't happen. But I'm starting anew. In general, the reason I've been so lax is due in large part to my inner demon, Procrastination. He's prevented me for so long from achieving my goals, not only with blogging but any aspect of my life that I want to better myself in. But I think the tide may be finally turning. Why? Because I've found a tool that so far has worked wonders. I've tried it for about three weeks and so far I'm still going strong, still defeating Procrastination in the day-to-day goals that I've set out for myself. Now, as I write this, I feel like one of those people in infomercial testimonials who tell everyone that product X has changed their life forever. Every time I see one of those, I get very cynical and think, "They must've been paid." Or their acting agent told them it'd be good TV exposure. So I tune them out. I don't do endorsements because I figure people will tune me out. But, for this product, I don't care. This is a personal blog about personal experiences that I allow the public to see. Besides, this product might help you. You might read this, and say, "Yes, I'll try that."

Read what? "You haven't told me anything!" Don't you just hate when salespeople string you along, building up the mystery, till you're on the edge of your seat, your anticipation building. Or maybe you're yelling at the screen, as if the author can hear you, while your wife's in the other room with your crying baby, and she thinks you've just had a mental breakdown? Yeah, I hate salespeople like that. They annoy me. I just want to... OK, I'll stop. Honest. Here I go... Ready...set...Superbetter.com.

There, I said it. Superbetter.com is a "gamification" website where you can "gamify" your life. That is, treat your goals and aspirations like leveling up in a game. You can have "quests" you accomplish that go toward your goal; "power-ups" to help you along the way; "allies," friends who are there to support your goals; and "bad guys" to defeat, that get in your way. As you might have guessed, I have created a Procrastination bad guy that I go up against every day. There are typical pre-set goals you can use such as quitting smoking or losing weight. Or you can create your own, as I have done. Currently, I have a meditation goal and a writing goal. I have power-ups and allies. And of course, my demon bad guy, Procrastination. If you accomplish a stated goal, you acheive an "epic win." OK, now that you've stopped screaming at your screen and have assured your wife you don't need to go to the hospital, you still don't know what the hell I'm talking about. So maybe you should check it out: Superbetter.com.

You're back so soon? Yes, I know. You still don't get it. It's crazy. And I agree with you. I've tried a ton of things to defeat Procrastination. But most don't last too long. This has staying power. So far. I'm cautiously optimistic. But skeptical. I'll keep you posted.

So far it is working. It has re-started this blog. Why? Because writing in this blog was part of my "Daily Quest 4/4/2012." As I write this, it is now 4/5/2012. Technically, Procrastination has won: I have put off today (now yesterday) what I could do tomorrow (now today). Then again, now that tomorrow is today, I am not putting it off till the new tomorrow. So Procrastination has not won. My head hurts. If you do choose to try out gamification and Superbetter.com, be kind to yourself. Don't set your goals too high. My goals and quests are manageable but ever more challenging. Procrastination still kicks my ass, but I give myself a decent, but not too great a handicap. He still wins, with my advantage. As of this writing, I beat him 16-5.