Becoming Better Than Better: Procrastination Battle Report

Procrastination is a tricky demon. He's an ugly man, but he's oh-so-seductive. "Listen," he whispers in my ear, "you don't want to be productive. Browse the internet. Watch Jon Stewart. I know how much you love Jon Stewart." "Well, okay..." Then I come back to reality and get stuff done. Or try to.

Yes, I'm personifying Procrastination. No, I'm not crazy. If I'm going to gamify my life with Superbetter, I might-as-well have fun with it. Procrastination often does feel like a force outside my will. So does my Muse. I've heard that's one hypothesis for where religion comes from: the mistaken notion that our thoughts are somehow outside ourselves. Any thought about any god (or any thought, period) is contained solely within our heads. To say otherwise is a ridiculous idea. But Procrastination, or the Muse, or God, can be useful symbols, as long as you realize they are just symbols. So let me just walk through about one week with my symbol, Procrastination.

Let me start with Friday. Friday was almost a good day, except I'd gotten only 5 hours of sleep. "I can't meditate like that," I told myself, so I didn't. An otherwise perfect day, yet Procrastination won. However, I did do a lot on Friday, aside from not meditating, so what happens when Saturday rolls around? Free day! Didn't do a damn productive thing. It felt soooooo good; the weight of the cosmos delayed till the next day. I could see Procrastination's mouth full of rotten teeth smiling, plaque so thick his teeth are black, camouflaging the cockroaches scampering about. I smiled and nodded at him that day, as if he were my best friend. So Sunday rolls around. Productive day? Hell no, because I was out of practice. Procrastination continued smiling, maybe chuckling a little maniacally. Monday, I won, but barely. I got done all I wanted to do, but got them done at 4 AM. If you can't wait tomorrow, why not wait for a couple hours? Procrastination gave me that idea, so that on Tuesday, what'd I do? Procrastinate most the day. I procrastinated fine and good, and by the time I felt like working, I was too tired to compete. This time he won. I could see him gloating. That night I enlisted the help of a power-up; Vive Hora I call her. It means "live the hour" in Latin (because a day is just too long). She's attractive, fun, and sexy. And she wants me to succeed. Today/tonight's the first day I've got to use her, and while it's late, I'm not bone-crushing tired. She's helped. Eventually, I hope she'll allow me to keep "normal hours."

So there it is: my Procrastination battle report. I don't intend to do this every week. Again, I don't want this blog to be an online diary. So, till next week... (Maybe I'll be able to post at a decent hour on Wednesday.)